Kate Cater. Kate
The first time I thought seriously about God was when my brother and sister told me they'd become Christians. They kept asking me to come to Church but I couldn't be bothered with such 'boring stuff'. They finally persuaded me to try it. I began to hear, when I attended Church with them from time to time, that I was a sinner and needed God's forgiveness. This was unwelcome news to me. I began to imagine living life the way God wanted and giving up my old selfish ways of pleasing only myself. The prospect did not attract me and for some time a great conflict raged in my mind - I wanted to continue with life free to do as I pleased. But more and more the conviction grew that I was a sinner -guilty in God's eyes and my life was not right with him.

One evening my sister suggested that we should read the bible and pray together. I reluctantly agreed. She read Psalm 43. The words jumped out and hit me, especially where it said 'Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me' and 'Put your hope in God for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God.'

At last everything I'd been hearing made perfect, crystal clear sense and I knew it was the truth. God spoke powerfully to me through this psalm showing me his love and forgiveness and my heart responded with sorrow for my sin, then joy that he had forgiven me and saved me from hell - the deserved punishment for rejecting him. My sister must have been amazed to hear me burst into heartfelt prayer for the first time and afterwards as we rushed into her garden at midnight full of joy, the way I felt is expressed perfectly in a verse from a hymn which says:

Long my imprisoned spirit lay
Fast bound in sin and nature's night
Your gospel shone a glorious ray
I woke, the dungeon flamed with light
My chains fell off, my heart was new
I rose, went forth and followed you.